Parenting, to some, is a means of passing on frustrated sporting dreams and aspirations to one's kids. Will we have served our kids well when it is time for them to go out into the world? Will we have given them wings with which to soar?
• Let's take a peek into Rohan's home.
He's just nine - a rather timid, slightly-built, scared-looking nine-year old. Given the opportunity, he would rather sit and play his favorite TV game, where he morphs into a creature very different from what he really is. Alternatively, he reads his schoolbooks - he does well without really trying too much.
His problem? A father who was quite average in sports and now hopes to fulfill his highest sporting dreams through his only son. Rohan's Saturdays, Sundays and all of his vacations are filled with net practice, which starts at six in the morning. Is it really any wonder that Rohan hates cricket?
• Cut to little Tanya.
This little girl is agile, full of life and dexterous. Her mother has already decided that she is going to be the next Sania Mirza. So Tanya's day is built around her tennis coaching - an hour every morning, two every evening. There are times when Tanya would like to scream and let all the frustration out. Of course, her mother would just not understand why, and the last thing Tanya would do is tell her mother that she would much rather be a gymnast.
Sports Opens Doors
With so much emphasis on academics in India, we cannot really blame ourselves when we look at school-level sports as a ticket to college. If a child excels in a particular sport and plays it at the district or the State level, those extra marks could stand him in very good stead if he is just an average student. Universities abroad too tend to favor a student who has done well in sports.
The Perils of Sports-Related 'Performance Anxiety'
What many dismissed some time ago, as a typical reaction common in many children is now being analyzed and scrutinized carefully by experts. We are looking at a brand-new concept now - 'performance anxiety' in children. It's fast becoming a major health concern all over the world as children struggle to meet their parents' sporting expectations.
Until the age of 12 or 13, children long for their parents' approval. They go to considerable lengths to get a word of praise or a rewarding cuddle. However, when it comes to sports, they may face insurmountable limitations. After all, each of us has a different makeup in terms of physical coordination.
Secondly, children always perform best at what they really like. In terms of sport preferences, a child may follow a different piper. A child with 'performance anxiety' invariably displays very specific symptoms.
The Symptoms
• A child with sports-related 'performance anxiety' tends to worry excessively. He may suffer from persistent anxiety.
• The child might retreat into a shell and complain constantly of being tired.
• The child may freeze from fear of ridicule for failure just before a sporting event.
• The child may throw tantrums, have nightmares and also problems at school.
• The child may lack in social skills and shun the company of his peers.
There's More To a Child Than Meets the 'I'
Here is how you can help prevent sports-related performance anxiety in your child - and prevent the trauma it brings:
• Observe your child's preferences in sports.
• Encourage your child to try the sport out - get the necessary equipment and volunteer some of your free time to participate.
• Never criticize poor performance.
• Let your child try his hand at various sports till s/he find the one s/he enjoys the most
Of course, your child may not have a single sporting hair on his or her head. In such a case, it would be useful to remember many of the world's most brilliant inventors, artists and statespersons didn't either.
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